A Stellar Flare of Young Adult Writing and Visual Art
BY ALFRED BRAZIEL
Never Neverland Part One
I don’t get it
My head aches from thinking
Does she love me truly
Is this real cause she might lose me
They say I’m perfect but I think they lied
If she loves me why does she hide
I’m not worthy
I sit in Algebra sometimes French mostly History and I think
Why is it she’s in my head and I see her every time I blink
“You have nothing to lose”
But I do
“You’re a good choice” and “You’re Smooth”
Lies, wait who am I talking to
I wash up on the beach and I’m indifferent
The sun beats down on my body in silence so seashells can’t whisper even if you do listen
My skin is moist lips are chapped and my insides feel dry
I should fantasize about death but there’s a light in my eye
I promised my people I would come home but when I’m there I’m often alone
The hot muddy sand shifts like a bed that dips
I think of fresh water and taking gulps not sips
I look behind me in an awkward head shift to see fruit that shined in my eyes like colors in rainbows and shit
I felt weak with hollow bones
But I stood with my stomach pains like getting hit wrong then it buzzed like a phone
After eating the sweet juice filled fruits of the beach I started a bonfire dried my clothes and tried to look neat
I picked my hair with my hands found fresh water in cans
I slept good around the flames after my dance
The next day I found an abandoned pirate ship
I got some elegant clothes food fucking treasures and shit
The clothes were pretty urban I was a bit confused
I dusted off the plaque in the back labeled Jolly Roger
I spent the next week building it up and right when it finally flew I woke up
I felt more lonely than I actually was in the dream
Visions of you in my head scream… love me
I’m already teary eyed from death’s grip in life I’m still lucky to make it through
Based in space was a dream and memories of you
People come and go I’m stuck in my afro picking at my brain trying to tell my heart I’m not alone. I talk on the phone all day cover up people’s pains then what I can’t fix my own.
Tell my friends I’m going home it’s fine it’s whatever “open up guy it’ll make you feel better” liar oh wait that’s me telling stories like “I’ve never felt better” that’s deep I suppose told my pains go to sleep.
I’m numb again.
What do you mean I’m a great guy people leave all the time claiming I did them wrong well guess what they have no right to cry and if they do may the sharp salt liquid running down their cheek burn.
I never learn…
Yes yes I’m very sweet careful you’ll get a toothache then throw me away and in the trash my living conditions will make me feel…safe. Hide my ugly face from the world that I could’ve given you. Why the hell would you run away I’m at the top of Mount Olympus screaming your name but to you it was a whisper.
You still didn’t listen.
I dive in the water of the ocean to attempt to drown but I become engulfed by the rain. You think you feel the same I believe you’re wrong I’m insane. They call me a captain to lead you all out of the watery pits of hell when we’re lost in the woods I’m a chief shouting live well when we finally make it I’m a king of gods but inside I’m just a golden shell. I… look out to the light in the wild purple yonder green didn’t fit me so I’ll be skating till my board breaks on a rainbow as I wander. The sparkles in the sun nearly destroy the pupils in your eyes but instead it decides to split that’s beautiful isn’t it…
Just a thought.
Promises go unbroken I bet one day when I awake I won’t be alone then. I carry all these hearts in my Jansport bag to give to the world and I’m used like a band-aid until everyone’s wounds are healed please so when you talk about me as a person…
please tell me I’m not bad
Walking home alone in the night from the park hoping I do not vomit street lights that are bronze sit so far away if I look up fast enough I’ll get to see the comets… damn it’s just a plane.
My eyes blur… and I blink slow I’ll fall asleep in my crisp sharp green ice cold lawn under the hella shady tree where I start over the Neverland dreams.
No of course you didn’t hurt me.
Alfred Braziel is a junior at Bryan Adams High School Leadership Academy in Dallas, TX. He is a prose poet, lyricist, storyteller, and visual artist. He creates art so people can feel good about themselves and be inspired on an emotional and physical level. He wants them to connect to himself and others so that they can solve internal conflicts with life beauty and entertainment, so they can feel hella rad, and so they can just plain feel.