People always try to define the word love, but there are so many types and forms of love, there’s no single way to say exactly what it is. These are just 5 of the different types I’ve observed around me and in me:
She was screaming. Screaming about the dishes not being done, screaming about him accidentally mixing the colors and whites in her laundry in his intent to help her, screaming about her working too hard, screaming about there not being enough money, screaming about him never listening, screaming about how she was going to leave, screaming about how she hated him. Screaming, screaming, screaming. Except he hadn’t said anything yet. He didn’t get to give input on the situation. He was belittled and made fun of. He knew he was to blame. He didn’t say anything. He wasn’t very happy all the time, but he knew he was lucky to have her. There were times when she smiled at him and when she laughed at his jokes and they sat together at dinner and he was content. So he stayed.
You see it in small ways. When she finally breaks up with him and feels free, when he lets himself cry and be okay with his emotions, when she buys that dress even when her friends told her she looked ugly in it, when they walk tall with their head forward, when she drinks enough water to stay hydrated, when he is okay with being a little chubbier than most, when she is proud of where she comes from even if she has darker skin than anybody in her class, when he realizes that liking another guy is perfectly fine. I see it in myself, when I look in the mirror and no longer wish for longer hair or lighter eyes. Instead, I smile.
Animals have different ways of mating. Some male birds sing a song or puff out a colorful array of feathers. The female goes with whichever one looks or sounds the best. Humans are the same way, except for animals, it’s a method of survival. It lasts forever. Humans try and make it last forever, but suddenly you realize that the bird that you just mated with has a pretty face and a beautiful voice but he has no other substance! And he might only be with you for the same reasons! That’s not what you wanted! But at the same time, it was.
There was a natural connection between us. Nothing was forced, you know? When we were in a car together and we were tired, there was no asking the other, “Hey, can I put my head on your shoulder?” It just happened. We could tell when the other was about to cry and when we were hiding secrets, or something big had happened. It was helping send texts to mean boyfriends and making sure the other didn’t go out in an ugly dress. It was comparing bra sizes and asking questions to make sure your body was developing normally without any judgment. But it was also so much more. It was falling asleep on the same bed because you kept each other warm and fighting because you didn’t agree on how you saw the world. It was lectures because you didn’t want the other to fail, and crying together when they did. It was a natural, easy connection.
You’ll only be like, 20, and you’ll pass out in your dorm room and wake up at the hospital to a doctor showing you a pink stick. Maybe you’ll be thirty years old and it’ll be a miracle that this is even happening. Maybe it’ll be your wife’s kids from her previous marriage, or you will sign papers and take in a lost child. Maybe you’ll be super scared about it or go crazy trying to inform yourself about your upcoming journey. Maybe you’ll be calm until everything is happening all at once. There might be some times where you wish it wasn’t happening at all, or there’s a possibility you might feel sad after. But either way, sometime, you’ll be thankful that it all happened. He or she or they, will be a blessing.
About the Author
Alefiya writes because she sees and experiences such different worlds and feelings, and she needs to share that with other people. She writes to spread the truth and to amplify other’s voices, to let people know they aren’t alone. One day, she hopes to be a world-famous novelist or journalist.